I lament the lack of stars in the sky. But the stars are still there. I just can't see them.

There's a message in here somewhere...

It's a beautiful day outside, one of those I-can't-believe-this-is-August days, where the whole sky is available to be seen, the clouds augmenting it rather than hiding it. And most of the city is in an office building somewhere, unaware (or perhaps painfully aware) of what's available for them just outside their door. Once we've escaped to our homes, we'll sit in traffic or wait for trains, angry (however justifiably) about the traffic and the inevitably delayed trains, and arrive home for the last moments of daytime in a huff, either hurrying to the next thing or crashing on the couch. Once the sun has set (the walls of buildings around us making that very difficult to see), all of our technology will hide the glory of a nighttime sky. The only stars we'll see are airplanes. So we'll finish our day and fall asleep too late and rush to get out of the house in the morning. In Chicago, there is so much to do and so little time to do it in, it's plausible that we could go a whole lifetime in a routine where we never once encounter a moment with the physical universe that causes us to consider what's at the core of this world.

But... in spite of all that... or perhaps better said, in light of all that... God is still there.

We're very good at hiding the evidence, but He's there.

I wonder if this plays out in our daily lives? We make more time to watch TV than to be with God, who I for one have had what I believe to be actual two-sided conversations with. Is he always there, waiting for me to press the power button and give him a minute? Even if I can't see him. Even if I can't see him because of what I've created. Is he there? All the time?

photo - Don McCrady

Labels: Jesus

We spent the weekend far away from the city, on a beautiful Green Bay shoreline where counting stars was an exercise in futility. Saturday night, I submerged my eyes in hundreds of stars and literally (or figuratively, depending on your baseline) saw God's presence in the universe.

I recalled staring into space on an African safari, overwhelmed by what had to have been thousands of stars (my attempts to systematically count them broke down around 100). Our temporary home on the Masai Mara made sounds I'd never heard before, the only thing holding me back from a modest panic attack was a fence just tall enough to keep out anything that could jump. I soaked my ears in lions and cheetahs and monkeys (oh my), until I was inebriated in God's creation.

We spent an afternoon in Nairobi's national park, with a local commuter-turned-tour-guide showing us all the uninhibited wildlife - rhinoceros, ostrich & hippos highlighting the pre-dusk time. At dusk we encountered several giraffe snacking on a treetop and watching out for anything that was looking for its own exotic dining. I remember thinking that God was showing off. Turned out he was just getting started.

As we got ready to exit the park, the sun melting into the landscape serving as our alarm clock, we came to a crossroads. Down the street were three giraffe strolling with purpose. We turned the car off and quietly waited to see how close they would get to our car. The answer was so close we could have reached out and touched them. As they walked past our car, I started to cry. I'd never felt God's presence in such a powerful way before. They moseyed in front of our car and slowly made their way up the street (in Nairobi, the animals have the right of way). We started the car and headed out. The giraffe paid us no mind though, and paced us with their long, surprisingly graceful steps, letting us follow them for quite a long time.

And all of that wildlife was free to leave the park, to come back into the city. In one neighborhood we visited, we heard stories of Henry, the giraffe who daily visited to the point where, at the end of his life, Henry got a moving eulogy in the local paper.

And above us were those stars.

In Chicago, there is lots to see, but almost all of it is man-made. And at night, we can count the stars on one hand because of all the light. And even in small-town Wisconsin where the sky is full of stars, I have first-hand evidence that without all of the unnatural light, there would be thousands more. So, for all of my love for all of what people have done with what God has created in Chicago, I have a profound sense that if you are able to count stars, something is not as it should be.

I long for God's restoration on his creation. I long to see the world as God wants me to see it, full of animals and under a canopy of plasma. In those moments I find my deepest sense of rest and personal restoration. Under the sea in Mexico and in the Mara in Africa, I saw God. And I hope to see Him again soon.

giraffe photo: taken by my wife, without a zoom, from inside our car.
africa skyline photo: me, proving that in Africa, anyone can take an amazing photo

Labels: africa, Jesus

Day One of Lollapalooza... and I'm satisfied. Dehydrated, but satisfied nonetheless.

Radiohead was everything I wanted them to be. Despite the sweltering heat and sun beating down for several hours (my face is not satisfied to say the least), it was all worth it from my perfect viewpoint of the stage and a wonderful setlist that gave me no complaints, even if it was heavy on In Rainbows (they played literally all of it). Sure, i would've happily exchanged one of those for "Talk Show Host" but the odds of that were low to begin with, and I'm not sure I could choose which song to omit (okay, "House of Cards" it is). Anyway, it was beautiful.

I danced like I was out of my mind, made normal by the fact that I was simply mirroring Thom Yorke's goofy/awesome set of moves that might be best described as "interpretive belly dance" or "modified snoopy dance". I sang along silently (until the second encore, when everyone let rip on "2+2=5" and "Idioteque", the latter of which was my personal highlight). I was mesmerized by their light/video/color show and I have a new appreciation for "Dollars and Cents" and "The Gloaming".

The crowd was 75,000 large, and judging from the crowd feedback, we were all somewhere between completely scorched and completely reverent. At one point Thom commented on our collective quietness, which of course was met with a deafening roar from all of us who wanted to make sure we got that second encore. Maybe I'm a fanboy, but I'd like to think that our volume level between songs was one-part tired and two-parts savoring every note, waiting expectantly to see where they took us next.

Radiohead isn't your average 75,000-crowd band. Like my friend Matt said, it's a bit surprising that they grabbed a worldwide audience. The soaring melodies certainly put them on the mega-band stage, but they've mostly created music that a mainstream audience is willing to put the time in for, wading through layers of thoughtful, challenging work to get to the pop-center.

Anyway, other highlights included the fireworks show going on behind "Everything in Its Right Place" that bled into "Fake Plastic Trees". Apparently it was from Soldier Field, but I'm not clear on if it was Lollapalooza-centric.

I could go on and on (obviously), but that's good enough for now.

The rest of the day was also great - Bloc Party was good (not 6:00 good, but the Silent Alarm songs were fun to hear, even if they kind of all sound the same), Gogol Bordello was a pleasant surprise. I missed the Black Keys in the name of having a good spot for Radiohead. I don't regret that, but apparently they put on a killer show, as did the Raconteurs. Next time the Keys come through town, I'm in, I promise. Finally, the Kills were fun, but their live show doesn't really add anything to their sound.

Tomorrow looks like another (slightly-cooler) scorcher, so I need to pace myself, stay hydrated and stretch a lot. It's also my bouncing back and forth from the north-end to the south-end day. I begin with Margot & the Nuclear So and So's at 12:15, and I get DeVotchKa, Jamie Lidell, Broken Social Scene, Toadies & Rage Against the Machine, and hopefully a couple side stage surprises. It'll be easier though since I won't be worried about holding down my spot all day (and with the exception of Broken Social Scene & Margot, I mostly just want to catch a few songs from all of these sets). Good stuff.

Labels: music