originally posted between June 20-21, 2005

When you blink, your eyelids act as a sort of windshield-wiper. You blink and moisture covers your eyes. The moisture is known as a tear film, which may or may not be one word. For most people this lasts about 5-15 seconds, at which point you must blink again.

Key word(s): most people.

So for the last six or seven years my eyes have been mad-dry. I blink long and hard, and they hurt, always. I feel like my head is constantly under pressure and will crack at any point. I didn't do anything about this and then my eyes sent me a new message. They started twitching. Well, the right one did anyway. It didn't feel good and it freaked me out, so I went and saw an opthamologist.

The nurse, who was officially the coolest nurse in the history of nurses, started shining all sorts of blue lights and bright white lights in my eyes. Apparently the way to figure out what's wrong with your eyes is to blind you. 'Cause that makes sense. Then she put drops in that numbed my eyes and later ones that dilate them. The experience was topped off with some huge sunglasses that I was very proud to walk home in and will definitely be sporting on a regular basis. They're hot. Don't judge.

So after all of the above, my nurse used some really technical terms in describing my tear films. She said... and I quote... "Your tear films are crap." I think crap is the technical term. Anyway, apparently my moisture breaks up almost as quickly as it gets there - under a second - causing my eyes to be uber-dry.

I get to use eye drops to moisturize them from now on. It's never going to go away, but I have to say that I'm quite pleased with the result, given how much worse it could've been.

So my eyes are already feeling better than they have in years, and I got to experience what it feels like to have bad/blurry vision like all my friends after my eyes were dilated. Good stuff. The pressure in my head is gone, and all because I finally accepted the need for eye drops.

Which makes me immediately wonder... do I need drops for my spiritual eyes?

What if they could bottle up living water and you could put it in your eyes when things got out of whack?


Jesus is called "living water." "Mayim Hayim" (pronounced MY-eem HY-eem). Life-giving water of rain, rivers and springs as a picture of God's Spirit in the world. (Tverberg - "Listening to the Language of the Bible.")

Some verses to ponder...
"Swarms of living creatures will live wherever the river flows. There will be large numbers of fish, because this water flows there and makes the salt water fresh; so where the river flows everything will live." - Ezekiel 47:9

"I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants." - Isaiah 44:3

Jesus said that He was the fulfillment of these words when he spoke to the woman at the well (John 4:10) and when he spoke during the prayers for rain at the Sukkot feast (John 7:38).

My eyes are still dry. I use the eye-drops and it relieves it for a short-while, but the reality of my eyes is that they are dry. I have "crap" tear films to quote my nurse. Similarly, I've been a Christian for three years, following hard after Jesus for at least two of those years. Yet every day I am dismayed by the places my mind goes, the words I speak, the choices I make. Sometimes I think the old adage 'the more things change...' is disturbingly true.

This week I'm going to do something different. I'm going to use living water eye drops. When I'm faced with thoughts, words, choices... when I feel my spiritual eyes twitching - screaming at me telling me to get them some moisture - I'm going to drop some living water in them. Whether that means prayer, reading or a simple act of pinching my index finger and my thumb together, I'm going to spend one week - Tuesday through Sunday - making an extra effort to tune my soul to God's perfect pitch.

I have hope that even though I am a human being, reminding the world daily of my need for a Savior, I have access to living water whenever I want it. God's got an endless supply of the stuff, and He's quick to give it out. It's up to me to take it and put it to use. Tonight my eye was twitching like crazy, but I ignored it because I thought I was going to bed soon (there goes that plan). After a half hour of dealing with the discomfort, I realized I could just take two minutes out of my life and put some eye drops in and all would be back to equilibrium. Once I did, all was well and the twitching went away. Can the same be true of my spiritual eyes? Can Mayim Hayim change the way I interact with the world if I just take the time to do something about it?


When I asked why my tear films are the way they are, I was given a laundry list of possible reasons, including, but not limited to:

pollution, stress, poor eating habits, staring at a computer screen all day, reading a lot, etc.

Um... check, check, check, check & check.

There are so many things in the world that aren't good for us, that make our bodies shut down and create pain and discomfort. I like the way our bodies are designed to send up warning flags before something gets way out of hand. I have to assume that's not an accident, right? Every time I go to the doctor (which is rarely, but enough to create a hypothesis) 'stress' comes up as a probable cause.

As a people, and as a church, let's spend some time paying attention to the stress in our lives. Why do we allow ourselves to work ten-hour-days and grab McDonald's for our daily nourishment? What about that screams 'this is a good use of my time and money'?


The great living water eye drop experiment continues, and day one... well, let me tell you one last story.

When I first used the eye drops from the sample vials they gave me, I wasn't quite sure what I was doing. Having rarely used eye drops in the past, the first time out was a video game - my face covered in "tears" because I can't get the darn things in my eye. The first time I did it I almost used up an entire vial, which is meant to last a day or longer. By the second day I was getting a little better, but not much... probably a 6:1 ratio of drops attempted to drops landed. By day three that ratio was about 4:1. Today is day seven, and I'm happy to announce that it's about a 2:1 ratio now. Of course, yesterday I used an entire vial in one sitting when I was having all sorts of issues at work.

I have a feeling this little living water eye drop thing is going to be the same way. I found myself having surprising success every time I stopped, took a breath and pinched my fingers together, or stopped and prayed. But there were times I got caught up in the moment and ignored it all together. There were also times where I sincerely tried but in the end was disappointed.

I'm being super-vague here, but the point is I think relying on God is a lot like the eye-drop process. The more you do it, the easier it gets. Your aim is better. You know that you always start out a little high so you lower your aim, like my dart game. Sometimes you go 1:1. Sometimes you go 4:1. And sometimes you use an entire vial. And having a 1:1 day does not mean tomorrow will also be a 1:1 day.

Sue Monk Kidd, who I talked about in a previous post, talks about "partnering with grace." Partnering with grace means moving forward, giving it your all, and allowing yourself to be forgiven when you blow it. It means accepting grace for what it is. Not forgetting the weight of your decisions and not ignoring the deep, amazing reflection that often comes when you really mess up, but also allowing yourself to move on, building on God's victory rather than our own fleeting success.

Here's hoping that tomorrow is a 1:1 day.

Labels: Jesus